Friday, March 11, 2011

3/11/11

I finally had an appointment today, a whole week without a single one. I was totally excited to do this though, i spent a good part of last night shading this tattoo in multiple ways to see what i could do with it. Origionally this tattoo was going to be solid black (as the client wanted it this way) but i wanted to try and convince her out of it, and show her how cool and different this could look. I wanted to play with this, and have fun with it. Sadly she wasn't into doing any color, or any cool swirly smoke like backgrounds which i had drawn up as an option. I started to do my usual "beating myself up" and then thought about a movie that my boss had me watch last night, which was all about positive thinking. So i perked up, and went into it with a smile and high hopes. I was going to make this tattoo as cool as i could possibly do with what she would allow me to do.

I was able to convince her into shading it out a bit with black and grey, with some white highlights. I stood her up, and put the stencil on. Once i got the machines and inks all set up, i went to work. My first line was shaky as hell. I started to get a little bit frustraited with myself, and then my next line was shaky as hell and didn't become a one pass solid line. I stopped for a second, pretending as if i was adjusting my machine, just to try and get myself in that positive mindset. I started again, the next few lines went in fairly easily. I was struggling a bit with her skin, as she was older and had little elasticity to her skin. One of my biggest flaws is getting a good stretch.

I was determined to show my boss that i am capable of being put on the floor for small things come spring. I think i failed. I think once again i overthought it, and beat myself up. Why do i keep doing this? I was so excited about this, i was in such a good mood, and wanted to have fun with it. Maybe im just beating myself up too much right now with this. This is a learning experience. I am learning. I will get this. I can do this.


Tomorrow is a new day, and once again i'll welcome it with a smiling face, and positive thinking.
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2 comments:

  1. Ron AntonickMarch 12, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    Listen...You are only "failing" if you believe that. You see me 20+ years into this still learning , growing n striving for greatness so you can expect to hit the ground running. Relax...take your time...ease up on yourself...n LET IT FLOW. You are progressing normally...and doing well but remember that to learn and grow you learn from your mistakes. Go a little easier on yourself and look at your mistakes...figure out what you need to change...change it and its a successful learning experience. But if you dwell on what you did wrong and how it doesnt look the way you wanted it to then you are failing. So bag the negative attitude and lets start succeeding. :)

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  2. Justin StitchesMarch 14, 2011 at 6:59 AM

    I second that motion.

    I know it's tough, but you can't put that kind of pressure on yourself in a learning situation like this. Just try to focus on the work, and if you are ready, then you're ready. If not, stay at it.

    Even when you didn't do something "right", as long as you learned something you were successful. You only fail when you learn nothing from a situation.

    BREATHE!

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